he only wants to see me during the day

and thats ok. that happens! ? I havent ruled out the idea that she is deliberately gaslighting me to destabilize my reality. I agree that its not going to make someone who otherwise wants a relationship with you to change their mind. Hes wishy-washy with you Havent we all experienced the guy whos hot and cold? But i also would have asked him out on a saturday. If your equation is young, try not to blindly trust this person even if you feel high in life when you are with him. Anyway, that sort-of relationship of mine started out very similar to this. Then only on Monday he texts me things like: How is your day? We arranged to meet on a Thursday night. And the only other girl could be an LDR he sees on weekends (not enough info to tell) or weekend booty calls (which at this point are arguably fair game) since he was with you at his place on valentines day. I like them. Just because he doesnt respond right away doesnt mean hes lost interest. If a guy recently told you that he wants to see you, this post will show you likely reasons why and what would make each of them more likely. Haha me too I avoid conflict and confrontation at all costs. The way I see it is you two are just dating. And perhaps order ice cream. We do exchange texts every day, and he generally calls me a couple of nights during the week. You didnt mention ever asking him how serious he wanted the relationship to be. If he is annoyed with you then he might have shown it in her body language the last time you saw him by doing things such as: The reason that he wants to see you could be that he doesnt want to miss out on socializing. Some urgent business came up that needed to be immediately handled. It seems like the only time you both tried to make weekend plans was kind of a group hang out with your respective sets of friends. Im sure he can free up 1 weekend if he WANTS to. If you want a harmonious relationship, it is better when your relationship is driven by logic and not merely by emotion. He has chosen you as a respite. possibly several times throughout the day, but mostly every morning. I hate to say but it might be the ethnic difference, assuming hes not Asian. But thats really not the common response to that. MOA. I feel that just screams too serious too fast to me which kind of feels like a general tone of the letter (and Im not referring to sex on the first date, just attaching super quickly). Theres a culture difference. thank you. Instead of getting pissed, there are so many other ways this could have been handled without just giving him the cold shoulder. My Girlfriend Doesn't Trust Me- Here's Why & How To Fix. His step dad died a couple weeks ago and he never even told me about it. YES! I know when I first started dating my boyfriend I would specifically try to schedule our dates for weeknights so that I would still have my weekends to myself. So many people would have just not answered and thought Well, hell get the point and that is one of my largest pet peeves. It will help in dispersing any silly notions of fooling around with each other from either of your minds. Sex is one piece of a relationship but theres a lot thats more important. Im torn about this one. Going unreg for this. i really dont think thats a good rule to apply across the board not everyone has m-f 9-5 jobs. As an attending physician in a residency program It is very common for our residents to have an LDR going on, or even a long distance marriage! Were so decisive.. He likes to spend at least some hours of the day with you so that it's shared only between the two of you. This sort of clingy all about me attitude without actually finding out what is going in is a huge problem in many relationships. Putting in the extra effort once or twice is understandable. Nope.. because there isnt remotely enough information here. I even tried meeting them on weekdays when Im really in the mood but usually insist meeting on weekends. If you dont think you can pull that off without being clingy, then try going out on a date with him and have a good time but dont have sex. At first that was okay, but at some point I'm going to want more. (25-29) My boyfriend usually texts me every day, but usually only wants to meet up like twice a week. None! Even that may not be conclusive. This could come from body insecurity. But anyway, first: What Katie saidits not always a bad, bad move to have sex on the first date. Sheriff Grady Judd is briefing the media regarding the arrests of twelve people in a family-run drug trafficking operation in Winter Haven called Operation Family Affair. Well see how it goes. My Husband Raises His Voice at Me (10 Effective Tips), My Girlfriend Always Accuses Me of Cheating and Lying (SOLVED), My Boyfriend Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself (21 Advice For You). Before I met my current gf, when I was online dating, I still always called to set up plans. It will disturb your calm, and at the end of the day, you won't be able to make much out of this relationship. It sounds like they only went on like 4 dates? I started to feel like I was being used as his convenient Weekday Girl when he doesnt have anything better to do. You might get offended when he points out certain things in your equation with your friends, and rather than trying to understand his perspective, you might decide to challenge his notions. If thats the case you can have two options, pin him down as to why and risk rejection or MOA. One of the issues with good sex advice is that is tends to have to be personal and confirmed by the advisors experience. I think you should just talk to him about it and see what he says. The AP reports: The Navy went back and analyzed its acoustic data after the Titan submersible was reported missing Sunday. Try oil painting together, or play board games. I only hear from him on weekdays. Labour has welcomed the government's NHS workforce plan but says it comes too late to solve the crisis in the health service. If you want to see someone on the weekend, ask explicitly more than a few hours beforehand. Kind of like a peek in her mailbag. Then only on Monday he texts me things like: How is your day? We arranged to meet on a Thursday night. You can read more about me and my website here. In many cases, i know she is deliberately winding me up, but how to separate those from the unintentional vicissitudes of her thought processes. It just confuses the life out of me because he just told me 2 days ago that he loves me. Whats he like? That being said the beginning of a relationship should be a happy, easy, getting to know each other time. It sounds like you got pissed off and responded with curt texts instead of communicating your wants. This has dual benefits. He wants to know about your day and when he can see you next. So I guess its not breaking up but deciding not to continue down the path to dating. All it takes is a simple this isnt working for me. And presto, chango, its over. Besides, if she really wanted a weekend date, why couldnt she just say to him early in the week, Hey, Doctor! I was about to FB you to check in! I can think of maybe, like, three or four at this point? The lack of contact certainly isnt encouraging. Then came Friday and the weekend, and again, no texts. He may leave his weekends open for friends, studying or keeping his options open and meeting other people. Holding hands while driving is a gesture common among couples. GET RID OF HIM !! You might pay heed to what the majority of them feel. Pick up the phone and call. You pretty much never get time to go pee or eat, never mind try to send a message that wont be misinterpreted. Sorry lbh, I was wondering if that had happened when you werent commenting. People might say it to make the LW feel better. Regardless, he hasnt contacted you in two weeks. Honestly, in a way I hope I die the way she did. Do not confuse loneliness for a loner. They met on-line. i mean, you dont even know each other how can you possible know how he has compartmentalized you into his life, if he even has, in 4 dates? Most people who sleep together on the first date dont get married, yes, but most people who refrain from doing so dont get married eitherIf there is any connection between sex on the first date and no serious relationship that follows, its probably a self-fulfilling prophecy thing, where people (women) expect to be put into a certain category after having sex on the first date and start giving a vibe of insecurity. Thats your intention. If I read the letter correctly there were two weekends in question here. iwannatalktosampson I have a friend who is a career bartender. When he doesnt care, you will probably find that he rarely checks in on you or asks how youre doing. Communicate when you are uncomfortable with something or thought that keeps you up at night while your boyfriend is clueless about the pandemonium he has instilled in your mind. If he wants to break up with you, he doesn't want to take the blame upon himself. Maybe he has a tight group of friends that he always spends the weekend with. LW, have you discussed this guys work schedule with him at all? You know you cant tease us like this, Copa! April 3, 2013, 3:11 pm. WebIf he is only texting you and not making the effort to be with you he is not interested. Often the only time hell want to get together its a booty call. Caring for her the last few days she was alive and seeing how badly she was hurting made it a little easier knowing shes done with the pain now. All good points. You should instead opt for a more decisive approach. Dating a doctor is hard, and not everyone can deal with the crazy schedule, and thats perfectly OK if having a crazy schedule doesnt match your needs, but I think you also need to alter your expectations a little. It is a super huge pet peeve of mine when people assume a situation or assume something is happening. Example, the most recent dude and I have went out a few times and I liked him. No need for dramatics. You should have certain ground rules and standards that you would want to stick to. Expect the same from him, and ask him to discuss it with you openly. These past events have disabled them from trusting another person. Digression aside, the new guy is so very sweet and thoughtful! I think she should contact him on the phone next time instead of relying on text messages for someone to understand how important something is to you, and remember that communication is key, that way you arent making up different scenarios as to why somebody isnt hanging out with you. There may be something he wants physically or emotionally and rather then being critical in a non-constructive way is opting to let the relationship dissolve. Somehow despite very different upbringings we seem to work. I think 4 dates is just too soon to start rearranging your schedule and regular routines for somebody. Believe me when I say I am already doing the max I possibly can without burning out (not to mention sacrificing quality). Moreover, if he is not serious with his career, that is, if he is a womanizer or a wayward. If its not comminicated by said girl that she wants a real relationship, why is the dude automatically a douche or an asshole. How lovely that her family was there to surround her and to comfort each other. Its when you make the decision and dont own it that you get hurt. Im not a guy either, but Ill throw in my thoughts. iwannatalktosampson I guess Im one of the few guys that (mostly) lurks here. Try to keep things even as it will also enhance mutual respect. We met online when I decided to give online dating a chance. There is so much more here going on. I read once, it might have been here but maybe somewhere else, that Thursday is the new Friday in the dating world. Id guess it has more to do with the latter. Yeah I didnt find his reluctance to co-mingle their friends as particularly odd or alarming. Its probably rude but honestly Ive had that conversation go way too awkwardly too many times to ever want to have it again. If you wanted to know why he didnt want to see you on the weekends, you should have asked. Rafael Grossi said he "didn't see that kind of development" on the ground but that "anything can happen that is what worries me". Everyone is different on when sex fits into the mix and I know I tend to get attached / accelerate relationships too quickly when sex happens too soon in the getting to know you phase so I make a point to wait it out. Time & Money An alcoholic finds it difficult to think straight. Aniolel1 5 mo. Guess what, my birthday party was 10 days after I met my now-boyfiend. WebNo, we don't. I always figured YT was Wendys way of letting us point out the obvious so she wouldnt have to be mean. And Ive known her for decades, not days. I completely disagree with that. Or, he or his gf travel out of town for work and can only be together on weekends. Your guy has a real girlfriend who he sees on the weekends. I dont know about everyone else, but at this point in my life, Im a little older, Ive dated a lot, and it takes a few dates for me to get to know someone and get excited about them. Im posting this letter as a Your Turn, without commentary from me, but LW asked specifically for guys perspective on this question, so while you women are welcome to chime in, Id love to hear a chorus of mens voices tell her whats what. What a weird thing to get hung up on. There are all kinds of reasons why this is such an issue for women and why men are so oblivious to it reasons weve discussed at length in previous articles but the takeaway is that this whole thing is a non-issue for From your explanation, you guys saw each other several times in a week at first. Seriously. I mean if Im breaking up with you its not me, its you so how do I say that? You seem to be the one who has sorta blown him off, so I wouldnt be surprised if hes giving up on trying to hang out. These things would eventually bore you. Its funny and aggravating all at the same time. im sure he works most, if not all, weekends- thats how it goes most of the time. I think she was just expecting too much too soon. If you like spending time with your boyfriend, you naturally shouldn't mind when he wants to see you daily. Just in general. New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. But maybe youre right. Whats the big deal? I know youre more at peace that shes out of pain, but that doesnt mean you miss her any less. and expect everyone to conform to them. That means INSANE hours that he has no control over (and could, to a limited extent, explain the lack of contact). It sounds like he assumed she was no longer interested when she ignored one text and then replied shortly to the next text, and he moved on. When a guy or girl is into you, theyll want to know what's going on in your life. This would keep things light and sweet. Also, theattack is right that sometimes often, actually the letters I post as Your Turns are letters I wouldnt feel comfortable answering. There are tons of possible explanations for his lack of attention and the only thing to do about it is to have a point blank conversation about it. Spending time with you keeps his head clear and helps him think straight.

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